I don't know if any of you have the horrible commute out there, but I sure do. 65 miles one way during rush hour. In the morning it isn't so horrible but at the end of the day when I just want to get home it damn near kills me. Seriously rush hour can bring me to tears.
This is really the only reason I hate my job. I know it doesn't actually have anything to do with the job itself, but it's hard when I have that to look forward to everyday. I try to tell myself that I am just lucky to have a job that pays well and has decent benefits. There are so many people out there who are unemployed not by choice (my husband was one for almost two years) and that does suck so in no way am I trying to whine about it. I just wish I had more time. I only get to see my baby boy for a few hours a day and it makes me horribly sad. I just miss him so much. And I know exactly how precious the time we spend together is, I know how easily it can be taken away, and I hate that all this time is being stolen from me.+
I feel it is unfair to Eli as well, and also to the new baby that will be put in this situation. While he and I both love his sitter I just feel like someone else gets to raise my baby.
I know that things will work out and I am just doing what I have to do to help provide for my family. This is just not at all what I pictured our life would be like.